Rosie goes to jail

Review: starstarstarstar

So last night was my first stay in a prison cell.

Yup, with one night free in Christchurch I thought I’d try out the Jailhouse, once a Gothic prison built in the 1870s, now an award-winning hostel.

Walking into the reception, I instantly start laughing. There’s novelty black and white pyjamas for sale, stripy humbugs on the desk for ‘inmates’, and a ‘guard’ called Felix waiting to check me in.

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Reception!

Felix the Fox – as his name badge reads – is funny, friendly and passionate about the hostel. All the staff are, and I wonder if their warmth is to compensate for the foreboding architecture.

“Go to cell 20.” Felix says, grinning, “It’s my favourite. We left it untouched when we renovated the place.”

I thank him, and head to my cell, number 13 obviously. It’s the first hostel I’ve ever booked a private room (I much prefer meeting whacky travellers in mixed dorms) but I’d thought hey, let’s go for the whole ‘solo cell experience’.

Well that was a mistake.

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No escape…

The door clangs behind me on a narrow room, white-washed and cold. I drag the metal chair to the window, but am still too short to see out. The ceiling is high and domed, and I try not to think why they built the light fixings out of the inmate’s reach.

There’s a complimentary towel and hot water bottle neatly arranged at the bottom of a single bed, and that’s it. Yikes.

I leave the heater on and explore.

On the first floor you can relax on squashy blue sofas in a cinema room, and on the second, free pool and darts. There’s a great view of all the levels of the narrow prison, an unforgiving symmetry of law and order.

I head back down and count the numbers of the cells. Number 20 has been ‘preserved’, a 4 x 8ft museum of inmates’ artwork.

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Cell 20

Holey moley. Stepping inside, the temperature drops, and I feel… funny. The art left on the walls, some drawn, some burnt, is moving, disturbing and provocative.

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It’s a sobering snapshot of life behind bars.

But just half an hour later, I’m laughing with a Frenchman and a guy from Texas in the TV room (watching Marley & Me), and it’s like any other hostel.

At around 10pm, I make my way back to my cell. Except, when I open the door, someone’s sleeping in my bed.

Uh…

Then I realise I’ve just walked into my neighbour’s room. Sorry about that mate… in my defence they’re (obviously) identical.

I climb into bed, my thirst for adventure satiated for the day.

Lights out.

The Jailhouse review:

  • One of the best hostels I’ve been to for cleanliness and efficiency – there’s information everywhere, friendly staff and immaculate facilities. Not bad!

  • It’s a bit out of town (15/20 min walk), but there’s lots of fast food joints and cafes nearby.

  • Bus stops for town, airport and Kiwi Experience are a few minutes away

  • The WiFi was dodgy – thick walls perhaps?

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